Skye of Caber Feidh
"Skye for Governor"
Skye, a native Californian and resident of Cazadero in Sonoma County, is a write-in candidate for governer in the upcoming California recall election.
Skye, an attorney specializing in dog law, won international renown for his arguments in the world court at the Hague, attempting to extend the Geneva Conventions to cases involving animal neglect (such as dinner being two or three minutes late). He also spearheads Starving Deerhounds of the World, Inc., which has a long history of famine relief efforts in California as well as internationally.
In addition to his support of the Spadafori Solution ("send SPAM, go to the chair"), Skye's platform includes:
One day each week where cars, trucks, and all motorized vehicles are completely banned everywhere in the state, so dogs may run freely wherever they wish. This will also improve air quality standards, making it a real win-win!
Since dogs are not responsible for environmental pollution or habitat destruction, all laws banning dogs from state lands or wildnerness areas will be rescinded. Humans, however, will have to obtain a special permit to use these areas. "Humans have a pretty bad track record when it comes to land use and environmental issues," the candidate said.
Toe nail clipping and bathing are to be performed only when medically necessary to save a dog's life.
An immediate tax credit for every dog owned by every California family. Dogs adopted from shelters will earn the family a double tax credit.
To stimulate the economy, dogs will be allowed in restaurants within the state, thereby hugely increasing the number of people who will eat out, and saving restaurants the expense of stocking "doggy bags." Skye's economic advisors estimate that this plank, coupled with the anti-SPAM plank, should turn the California economic crisis around within as little as 4 weeks, 6 at the outside. At that time, further tax credits may be considered for those owning c*ts.
Thank you for your support!
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