Heather Spadafori
“Heather for Lt. Governor”

Heather, a 6-year-old flat-coated retriever, is the running-mate of write-in gubernatorial candidate Skye. Savvy political observers applaud her addition to the ticket, since Skye is known to be weak among the water-dog demographic, given his known dislike for getting his feet wet. Heather pledges to shake up the California Coastal Commission with an eye to increasing the number of off-leash dog beaches in the state.

She is also favored by border collies, who share with her the opinion that humans are at their most useful when trained to throw long, hard and constantly. She intends to stress the introduction of tennis as an integral part of the state’s physical education program, thus ensuring a constant supply of used tennis balls for the state’s dogs.

Her views on the rights of other pets such as cats, birds and rabbits are really nothing she cares to discuss, since she never notices any non-dog animal except ducks, and those only after they’ve been shot and need retrieving.

She is also behind Skye’s pledge to leash children, not dogs. She will also push for hybrid SUVs to be mandated by law in the state, since she is in favor of fuel-efficiency and lower pollution but believes current offerings in these vehicles are not adequately designed for the comfort and safety of dogs.

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Nationally Syndicated Pet Columnist and Dogs for Dummies author Gina Spadafori
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Lisa Pesch, DVM, holistic veterinarian and East Baynian cellist
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Mary Brownell
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